Have any of you read this new Washington Post article about how “Single Black Women [are] being urged to date outside race”? It’s based on a conversation with the author of the new book “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions That Keep Black Women From Dating Out”.
I think she makes a valid point; if anything, the flurry of articles about black female singledom (yes I just made that word up) have proven that the numbers simply aren’t there. But I’m not a fan of the way she sort of glosses over the difficulties that come with dating outside your race: she makes it seem like being veritably disowned by your family and possibly your friends is a sacrifice black women should be willing to make unquestioningly, and I just can’t agree with that.
I’m not gonna claim personal experience, because the white guy I have dated was just…not the right kind of person for me, and I was aware of that from the beginning, so I can’t really tell whether the backlash I received from my friends and family was from the fact that he was white, the fact that he wasn’t good for me, or some combination of the both.
And then there’s just the peculiar problems of being biracial. I don’t want to have kids, but if I did, I wouldn’t want them to feel like friends I have who have circles of white friends and circles of black friends and feel like only half of them is ever in each group. I want to be able to talk about black power and celebrate Kwanzaa in my house…maybe I’m not open-minded enough, but I don’t see a possibility in which I could be married to a white guy and keep these things.
But I don’t think that means I wouldn’t be willing to try. I’d just…have to be entirely sure the relationship is worth the strife.