Interesting Developments

So I may not have mentioned that my father has a new girlfriend. (Boy/girlfriend is a weird word to use for senior citizens, lol. I feel like there should be a more grown-up word. Except, I’m fine referring to my mom’s boyfriends as such. Maybe I’m just being ageist. Anyway.) This is…weird for me. I know, I know, I should be used to the whole parents dating thing now, as I can basically recount the various stages of my life according to who my mother was with at the time, but something about this just feels…off. I suppose that I have simply come to think of my father as a person who is alone. My mother and I both describe him as hard to live with (though I think he would say that other people are the problem,  not him); she calls him (and anyone related to him, myself included) a kook. He has never been particularly social–he doesn’t have many friends, loves sports but doesn’t go over to like, bars or live games with “the guys”. My dad, Mr. Solo Dolo. 
Whereas my mom has never been man-less for any substantial period of my lifetime, as far as I can tell, my father has dated at most four people (both my mother and his current booskie included) over the last 21 years. My mom left my dad when I was just a few months old. When I was a kid, maybe 6 or so, we used to go over to my dad’s friend K’s house, where should would let me bring all my stuffed animals over and my teaset for tea parties. She had nieces whose stuffed animals she’d let me borrow, and I thought she was awesome because she gave me real (iced) tea for my tea parties, whereas my mom made me play with water. [Lame.] It has recently come to my attention that they were most likely dating…didn’t cross my six-year-old mind. When I was twelve and he was living in Detroit, he was seeing some woman who was a figure skater. I never met this woman, but I absolutely hated her for a while, because he was supposed to come back to NJ to visit me for my 13th birthday [it would have been the first time he’d come home since having moved when I was 9] and she went and broke her fucking ankle like three days before my birthday and he stayed in Detroit to take care of her instead of coming to see me. I was furious. (And now I’m wondering regretfully whether my fury influenced their breaking up at all, hmmm.) And now, all these years later, he’s started dating again. He was even on an online dating site (but met his current girlfriend in real life). 
I suppose it didn’t strike me until recently that my father was probably very lonely. I figured he was used to it, being the only child of only children and having lived alone for all but maybe 8 years of his adult life…but just because something has become a habit doesn’t mean it’s the way you should keep doing things. I’m glad he decided he need something in his life other than sports (which don’t give anything back for your time, dedication, and anxiety…especially when your fantasy team does really well in your league for the vast majority of the season and then tanks in the end losing you lots of potential money/bragging rights) and two grown daughters who live thousands of miles away from each other and him. I’m further glad that beyond just deciding/accepting this, he actually went out of his way to act on it. I really hope she’s good to him or I will go to Florida myself to smack the shit out of her. #that’sapromise 
It’s just weird to be on the opposite end of the hey-I’m-kind-of-busy-with-this-person-who-is-actually-physically-present-in-my-life-right-now-and-I-don’t-wanna-rush-you-but-I-actually-do-kind-of-want-to-rush-you phone call. Since I became a teenager (a period of my life that ended a year and a half ago, wow), that’s always been how I feel talking to him. It has always been a chore, something that is interrupting whatever I’d rather be doing. It’s…both offensive and amusing to recognize those same patterns of trying-to-end-this-conversation-asap-in-as-friendly-a-manner-as-possible-ness coming from him. I guess it’s cute. I’m glad he has someone. …And somewhat also glad that this someone is taking up all the empty space in his life he used to try to fill with talking to me, haha.   


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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