or, the internet version of this, to make me click pause while I recollect myself, reassembling the looser pieces to incorporate the gem he just gave me that I never want to let go of. He often makes me feel like I’m breathing from my diaphragm like my middle school choir teacher used to make us practice laying on the floor with our textbooks on our tummies, but that fullness in my midsection isn’t air, but soul. He overwhelms me in a delicious kind of way. There are parties going on tonight, but I am laying in my bed being simultaneously soothed and stimulated by Joshua Bennett and wanting to give myself permanently to someone who has that kind of relationship with words. It’s just these recently redecorated walls and me in here, but I’m still clapping, clutching the skin in the hollow of my neck when he says something particularly noteworthy, and occasionally letting out one of those involuntary “Mmmm“s like imaginary dude just got an especially good stroke in.
This video got two pauses and inspired me to write this post. Watch it. (And see if you can guess where I had to stop to recollect.)
Also, I have realized that he may be subconsciously behind my fascination with Black hipsters. And I have no problem with that.