That Friend…

At some point yesterday, one of the top ten Twitter trending topics in the world was #ThatFriend. I didn’t actually click on it, so I don’t know if it was mostly that terrible “friend” or that funny friend or that dope ass friend that people were talking about, but I know which friend instantly sprang to mind.

#Thatfriend you didn’t think you were going to like when you first met him through a roommate you didn’t care for. 
#Thatfriend you only started talking to because you were surrounded by strangers. 
#Thatfriend whose name you all of a sudden kept dropping to the bewilderment of your other friends. 
#Thatfriend you kicked yourself for wasting a year and a half not knowing. 
#Thatfriend you fell into best-friend-ship with so quickly you almost mistook it for something else. 
#Thatfriend you can shed every last pretense for. 
#Thatfriend who just GETS you, even when he hasn’t been through something you’re going through. 
#Thatfriend you can ACTUALLY talk to about ANYTHING. 
#Thatfriend who makes you make sense to yourself. 
#Thatfriend who will judge you (righfully) but stand by you. 
#Thatfriend you can accidentally talk to for hours about nothing and everything all at once. 
#Thatfriend who feels more like your brother than your actual brother.
#Thatfriend who knows every detail of your life. 
#Thatfriend you spend the majority of your free time with. 
#Thatfriend who can just sit in a chair at a desk with you and you guys will have a great time. 
#Thatfriend you wish you could put a piece of in your pocket and take with you wherever you go. 
#Thatfriend you feel kind of lost without when they’re out of the country for a week.
#Thatfriend you’re dependent on.
#Thatfriend you’re afraid to try to live without after graduation.
#Thatfriend who sort of turned almost all of your other friends into afterthoughts.

What do you do when you’re less than five months away from losing #thatfriend’s daily presence in your life? Do you try to wean yourself off, reconnect with your other friends? Or should you go cold turkey, like it’s a breakup, and cry about it for your first month of summer and then move on? Is there even moving on from #thatfriend? Is it possible he can stay #thatfriend from afar? 

A friend from high school asked me what my New Year’s resolutions were. I only really had new year’s visualizations: doing well on my thesis, getting a job, finding an apartment that made me happy, living as an independent professional woman in a major city. But now I think I have one: stop letting my relationship with #thatfriend eclipse all my other friendships. I love him, but being dependent on anyone scares the shit out of me. I will hang out with each of my five closest friends who aren’t in my eating club at least once a month until graduation. That’s my resolution. If I don’t salvage those friendships now, they’ll disintegrate in a few months’ time. And if I don’t remember that other people can satisfy me socially besides #thatfriend, I might.    

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About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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