I realized Saturday exactly how much I like being complemented on my body. I realize now that that sounds incredibly shallow, but *typical low self-esteem issues* I just got used to accepting it when people tell me I’m “beautiful” or “sexy” pretty recently. It still kind of floors me when people pick individual things, especially little things, to comment on.
The guy I slept with Saturday (and want to sleep with again as soon as possible–I’m not even gonna front) started off of a good, but common foot with the body compliments—le boobies. They were “even better than [he’d] imagined them.” Sunday morning, we’d been kissing for an eternity when he pulled back all of a sudden and just sort of looked at me. He stroked my right cheek and told me he loves the mole I have there. That made me smile, which prompted him to talk about the gap between my front teeth, and that he thinks it’s beautiful. He asked me in this little teasing voice how I’d gotten it before kissing me again. (Side note: my ex had a thing for my gap too. He used to like to stick his tongue between it. I suppose it’s a cute thing about me? *shrugs*)
Later in the morning he had flipped me over and was kissing his way down my back when he paused and ran his hands up and down my backside, saying that he loves the arch where my ass rises from my lower back. And all night/morning he kept saying how “blessed” I was in the T&A departments.
This guy is a really smooth talker, if you couldn’t tell, but I still really appreciated hearing that.
He also liked more than just my body–the first thing he said upon walking into my room, as I was making excuses for the less than tidy state, was “xkcd? Could you be more perfect?”
And if all of that wasn’t enough, let. Me. TELL. you. No one has ever come close to putting it on me like he put it on me. No one has ever made me feel the things he made me feel or say the things he made me say or enjoy the things I enjoyed with him. Everything about all three of our encounters throughout the night/morning felt so natural and right and glorious and freeing. I felt like this was supposed to be happening. I felt like almost every other sexual encounter of my life had been a waste of my time. I’d never known pleasure like this. I felt totally spent, completely satisfied. And none of the problems I usually have were present or relevant at all.
I wasn’t trapped in my head. I felt as far out of my head and into my body as I’ve ever felt. I felt like I knew what I was doing and like I was good at it. I felt so comfortable in his arms, or with him in mine. I wasn’t worried about my body (probably not unrelated to all of the aforementioned commentary). I TALKED. We had whole conversations while we were kissing, and I was so open with him. We talked about everything from my sexual orientation and the fact that his (female) ex and I want to hook up with each other to what past guys who’ve had the privilege of interacting with them have said about my boobs to how neither of us had ever had an experience that wonderful before.
I more than talked. I moaned. More than my usual little “Mmmm”s, the likes of which could come from eating a particularly delicious piece of food or getting a massage or whatever, I MOANED. I said his NAME, which I never thought would be something I was comfortable enough doing. I even talked a little dirty. Expletives were involved, which is also something I’ve never done before. I told him when I wanted him to be more or less gentle, that I wanted to be spanked, that it was okay to have his hands on my head while I was blowing him but that it was not okay to push my head lower on his dick–I would get there myself. I was assertive and confident and just…I felt so free. I felt like this is how sex is SUPPOSED to be.
He stayed the night and we cuddled and we held each other and he very pleasantly woke me up the next morning and after kissing for a long time and telling each other how we felt like we could stay in bed doing nothing but this all day, we had a third round that was just as amazing despite our like, 3-ish hours of sleep and then kept making out til he had to go have brunch with his roommates.
I hopped in the shower and immediately began contemplating how long it was appropriate to wait before letting him know I wanted to do it again. All the time. Legitimately every day til graduation if he was down.
We’ll see what happens.