It has come to my attention recently that I might have gotten too used to putting my whole life out there. Or, that there’s a difference between blogging about things in a situation where I control everything that is said and how it’s said and talking about things publicly with people I’m not super close to (but whom may or may not read the blog), because questions are asked and badgering happens when I don’t want to answer, and then sometimes bitches can start trippin and inserting themselves into situations they have no business being involved in and then I start questioning friendships.
But before, or at least alongside questioning who my friends actually are, I need to step back and question the actions I’m taking. KS has been trying to get me to see this for a while, but it’s just now starting to hit me (#whyishealwaysrightaboutmylife) that just because I am asked a question doesn’t mean I have to answer it. Just because I’ve gotten used to talking about myself and the situations in my life in one arena, a controlled self-created arena where names are never named and I’m the only person pressuring myself to keep going, doesn’t mean that I have any sort of responsibility to talk about myself and these same situations with people, especially with people I don’t completely trust. It feels weird saying this, but I have to remember that outside of certain social spaces, I can’t walk around like I’m allowed to be comfortable with everyone and say whatever I want to say, because that’s how drama gets started.
I need to work on establishing a blogger/real person balance of openness. I’m absolutely not going to start censoring what I talk about on here, but I absolutely am going to limit whom I’ll talk further about things offline with, and to what degree I talk about them offline. I am going to work on establishing the idea that just because I put my own stuff on blast here doesn’t mean that I have to provide more details. Saying no has never been a strong suit of mine, but I need to work on remembering that I have no obligations to tell anyone anything I don’t think they need to know. I need to remember that being a blogger doesn’t mean my business isn’t mine.