Sometimes I like to re-imagine my sex life as a video game, with like, stats and goals and shiny gold stars. Go with me on this like it’s normal. In that vein, achievements unlocked this weekend:
- I-need-you-right-now-I-don’t-even-want-to-waste-time-getting-fully-undressed sex
- Sex outside under the stars
- Sex in a hammock
- Keeping your cool when you’re walked in on mid-thrust
- Sex with two different partners on the same day
- Sex with your hands cuffed behind your back
Because obviously there should be merit badges for this shit.