Monthly Archives: January 2014

(Love is) the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will—both intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.

–bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions, 5

(via the dopest ethiopienne)

I will never not reblog quotes from this book because I am tellin’ y’all, it was the. realest. shit. I. have. ever. laid. my. hands. on. 


A racist woman is not a feminist; she doesn’t care about helping women, just the women who look like her and can buy the same things she can. A transphobic woman is not a feminist; she is overly concerned with policing the bodies and expressions of others. A woman against reproductive rights — to use bell hook’s own example, and an issue close to your heart — is not a feminist; she prioritizes her dogma or her disgust over the bodies of others. An ableist woman is not a feminist; she holds some Platonic ideal of what a physically or mentally “whole” person should be and tries to force the world to fit inside it.

An Open Letter to Caitlin Moran by Nyux

(via spinsterette)

There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming. But more than that, birthing the kind of woman who can authentically say, ‘My soul is my own,’ and then embody it in her life, her spirituality, and her community is worth the risk and hardship.

–Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

(via spinsterette)

Because we don’t speak about sex, there is no socially acceptable language surrounding it. So the language of porn has jumped in to fill that space, and that’s an issue, because in a male-dominated industry the language of porn is all too often male-generated. The person who coined the term “finger blasting” didn’t have a vagina. The person who coined the term, “getting your ass railed” never got their ass railed. Pounding, hammering, banging… And language matters, because when the only language you have available is abusive and one-directional, in terms of having things done to you, it creates a very weird view of how sex works.

Porn Is Dead, Long Live Sex | VICE United States

(via knowledge equals black power)

reasons to date me

no pressure to wear pants in my presence
or any clothes at all really
but it’s up to you
u can be big spoon or little spoon
totally your choice
i’m always ready to make out
also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it
i’ll let you lick it though
i mean the ice cream cone
well not just the ice cream cone


(via spinsterette)

This was far too accurate to not reblog.

People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.

–Chloe Rattray

(via come correct)

On communication.

Every time I feel like I need to have a big conversation with [Booskie], I freak out about it for a few days, have pre-conversations about the conversation with a few people who have been in the know since the beginning (my council of trusted advisers), and generally slowly drown in a sea of anxiety until I finally just reach out to him. It is far from a perfect system, but hey, the last time I was in a relationship I just didn’t have substantive conversations about the relationship ever, so this is definitely progress. Every time I’ve employed this imperfect system thus far, I’ve been amazed at how well each of the heavy conversations we’ve had to have have gone. Every time, I feel nothing but relief and happiness at the end of a conversation, after having felt nothing but anxiety and fear at the beginning. It’s sort of magical. 

Anyway, last night I had the opportunity to have another heavy-ish conversation with him, but let it pass by untouched. I don’t feel like I was running away from it or invalidating my own feelings though–it just didn’t really feel like the right time for the conversation. Identifying when the right time for these conversations is is something that I find difficult. Is it when I first start to feel a way that isn’t good about a thing that involves him or us? Is it after I’ve had a few days to analyze said not-good feelings? Does it matter if the ways I feel are like, projecting about how I’ll feel when a situation that is coming down the line has come to pass or are in reaction to a thing that has actually happened? If I feel like a whole lot is going on and my feelings might keep changing rapidly in relation to said happenings, should I just wait until things feel more settled to talk about stuff? When do I vent about stuff about our relationship(s) to him and when do I vent to other people? 

…Who let me get into a loving relationship? Clearly I am unprepared.

But though some days are mind-blowingly amazing and some days feature chains of events that lead to an overall feeling of suckiness, I am seriously loving this adventure.