But friendship–no matter what kind it is: normative best friendship, passionate friendship, romantic friendship, queerplatonic friendship–is: “Who are you? I think I like you. Now I know you more. I like you more. Now I know you more. I like you more. You’ve changed. Who are you now? I know you again. I like you again. I know you more. I love you. I know you more. I love you. I just saw you in a new way. Still love you.”
If I meet someone new and we become friends, I may not know that our friendship is going to be queerplatonic or sensual or a passionate friendship/domestic partnership for a long time. I may be friends with someone for months or years and not expect them to be someone I have a deep, loving, intimate, significant relationship with, and then suddenly, the friendship starts to transform. I may be friends with my future domestic partner(s) for years without realizing they’re the right ones, and then it gradually dawns on us or takes a sudden turn in a more serious direction. At no point can I really write off a close friend as a potential domestic partner or passionate friend or queerplatonic friend or whatever because at no point does it become “too late” for a friendship to develop into something deeper, more serious, or more loving. It’s possible to meet someone and know instantly that you really want to be close friends with them and that you both feel a strong emotional click or chemistry, but even in those situations, actually becoming friends takes time.
As anyone who reads the personal posts on this blog knows, asexuality is not a thing I can identify with in the LEAST, but OMG I love the things this blog says about friendship.