Every Relationship You Have Is With Yourself

This jives well with the whole mind-space of my day.

“What binds us in love, in companionship, in friendship? Familiarity. The sense that you understand each other at a visceral level. It’s just being able to see yourself in someone else, and more importantly, being able to change your inner-narrative when you know, see and feel that someone else loves and accepts and approves of you no matter what. Ergo: you can do the same. (It’s a survival mechanism, I’m pretty sure.)

The most meaningful relationships tend to be the ones in which we’re completely reflected back to ourselves, because this is what relationships serve to do: open us. We only recognize this in the big, overwhelming, usually heartwrenching ones, but it’s true of every relationship. And it’s the crux of our issues beyond basic survival: how we are in relation to other people. How we are in relation to ourselves.

The relationships we tend to be most happy in are the ones in which we adopt that other person’s supposed narrative — what we think they think of us.

We feel most loved when we feel understood, when we are thinking that someone else is thinking in alignment with what we need to hear and believe. We feel most loved when we think someone thinks highly of us — their efforts and displays of affection serving to prove this.

This is why not just anybody can affirm for us that we’re okay, only people to whom we’ve placed meaning. Someone to whom we already feel a physical or psychological connection. Someone we are looking at as a partner for ourselves, someone who is like us, someone who understands us. “

Thought Catalog

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 7.50.29 AMLulu Lovering

It’s interesting enough that human beings are the only (known) species that have relationships with themselves, but it’s even more to consider the fact that human beings are the only species that have relationships with themselves through other people. 

That is: our perceptions of other people’s mindsets largely dictate how we see ourselves.

What binds us in love, in companionship, in friendship? Familiarity. The sense that you understand each other at a visceral level. It’s just being able to see yourself in someone else, and more importantly, being able to change your inner-narrative when you know, see and feel that someone else loves and accepts and approves of you no matter what. Ergo: you can do the same. (It’s a survival mechanism, I’m pretty sure.)

The most meaningful relationships tend to be the ones in which we’re completely reflected back to ourselves, because this is what relationships serve to do: open…

View original post 465 more words

Advertisements

About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s