Being fat and brown and queer and femme means being ugly. Means feeling unloveable, being unloveable and no one disagreeing. Being fat and brown and colonized means to value, desire, prioritize a love that doesn’t want you, that will never have you, and not know how to cut yourself from the belly of the beast other than to destroy yourself from the inside out. The only way out is through, so the only reason you’re still here is because of cowardice and maybe resilience rather than commitment. And I say you because if I say me the pain and terror of these truths might break me.