*smiles a lot and makes cute faces*

I’ve spent most of this week feeling particularly goofy and sappy and happy and silly and just overflowing with love and something that looks a lot like joy, and for good reason(s), too.

Going away with [Booskie] last weekend was the best. There were some bumps in the road, which was not unexpected for combination of first roadtrip together and longest time we’ve ever spent continually in one another’s presence, but I had such a great time overall. Falling asleep with him and waking up with him four nights/days in a row = the most amazing. It was a great combination of fun playing around time and sexytimes and good and sometimes heavy conversation time and just plain chilling out time. And I got to meet his family, which I think went really well and made me feel good. 

Winding down from all of those awesome snugg feels didn’t really happen, though, because tomorrow marks a whooooooole year since our first date, which we are effectively recreating today (since it was at a freaking awesome annual RnB/Neo-Soul festival at which Lauryn Hill, Janelle Monae, Meshell Ndegeocello, and Talib Kweli are performing this year, so uhm why would we not go??), so all week I’ve been like ANTICIPATIONNNNNN and cuteness. I got him a silly card and wrote a much more serious letter. I’m maybe doing a lot, but a year feels significant to me. 

And to put some icing on the cake of cute excited feelings this week has given me, last night I had a great conversation with the girl I’ve been seeing recently. I hadn’t really been able to talk to her all week because she was away at a work retreat, and I was surprised by how happy I was to have her back in a place with cell reception so I could text her in real time. Flirting happened, which led to me confessing my babyqueer status, and her responding in a super awesome way.

[Lady]: I don’t think I’ve ever asked you if you’ve had a female partner.

[Me]: You haven’t. And no, I haven’t. I spent most of college flirting with a queer bestie of mine (shoutout to CC if you’re reading this), and have kissed/made out with a few girls, and done some topless boobplay with a transguy I went on a few dates with last year. But mine is the only skirt I’ve been under.

[Me]: I’m a fast and enthusiastic learner tho.

[Lady]: No problem. I’m just asking since you called yourself a babyqueer. 🙂

[Lady]: I’ve been with a few women. We’ll figure something out that works for both of us.

[Me]: I was wondering when I should tell you. Many of the girls I’ve met online tend to disappear on me when I make that known, so I was a little nervous.

[Me]: Generally, I’m pretty adventurous sexually though, so don’t worry about me being nervous to try new things.

[Lady]: Yeah, that happens (about the okc girls). Some of them tend to be experimenting and/or looking for someone with more experience. I have a friend with similar experiences.

[Lady]: Like I said, we can find a pace that works for us.

I told her how impressed I’ve been with how she’s rolled with the things about me that are often dealbreakers for other people (namely poly things and babyqueerness). She said that she thinks we’re looking for some of the same things. And since we were were on the subject, I said:

[Me]: Speaking of poly things, [Booskie] has mentioned that at some point he’d like to meet you if you’re down. I told him it might be a little early for that but I’d ask how you feel.

and SHE said

[Lady]: Right now, I do feel like it’s a little early for me to meet [Booskie], but I’d definitely like to meet him in the future. 🙂


This has been a post just to gush about how awesome the people in my life are. On the one hand, I’m completely in love with [Booskie] and I’m excited to see how our relationship keeps growing, and on the other hand, I’m starting a new thing that I feel really good about (even if I’m also excitedly nervous). She seems like such good people, and the amount of support and acceptance she’s already given me makes me feel so much less nervous about the “make it or break it moments of queerness” likely to be popping up in my near future. And it’s so great to be able to talk about her to [Booskie] and hear his support and encouragement. This combination of feels is what all of this is about.


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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