When we give freely, we feel full and complete; when we withhold, we feel small, petty, impotent, and lacking. We are meant to learn this great truth, that giving fulfills us, while withholding and trying to get causes us to feel empty and even more needy. This truth runs counter to our programming, which drives us to try to get something from others to fulfill our neediness, only to end up even more needy, grasping, lacking, and unfulfilled.
—Gina Lake, What about Now?: Reminders for Being in the Moment
In this cult of female martyrdom, where caring for our own well being is always last on our to-do list, it is easy to feel selfish when we do care for ourselves. But being kind to yourself, banishing negative body-talk, taking necessary time away from work, feeding your body with food that makes it happy, taking a morning for spiritual growth, doing one activity you enjoy just because you enjoy it—these things are not selfish! For so long, women have been socialized around the idea of “guilty pleasures”. Female pleasure–whether it is related to sex, food, or even an activity–must be categorized into “good” and “bad” categories. We are taught to feel “guilty” for “indulging,” but often these indulgences are normal, healthy expressions of desire. Common guilty pleasures include: food seen as “bad,” like cake, French fries, or chocolate; reading an erotic romance novel; skipping the gym to watch Netflix in bed; taking a bubble bath to decompress rather than tackling your mountain of homework. These guilty pleasures are fairly normal activities. For women, things that we enjoy doing are labeled “indulgence,” and we chastise ourselves for being “bad” if we do them. Indulgence sounds dirty, but most of our “guilty pleasure indulgences” are simply acts self-care. Self-care is not bad. Self-care is not selfish. Our lives do not have to follow the script of obedience.
—Brenna McCaffrey, On The Radical Act Of Self-Care, Feminspire.com
(via because i am a woman)
If you’re a Black artist, you could paint a wall of smiley faces, and someone will still ask you, ‘Why are you so angry?’
(via knowledge equals black power)
Why does even the best person hold back something from another? Why not say directly what we feel if we know that what we entrust won’t be scattered to the winds? As it is, everyone looks much tougher than he really is, as if he felt it’d be an insult to his feeling if he expressed them too readily.
—Fyodor Dostoevsky, from White Nights
Sometimes it’s hard, but really it’s just great. Most of the time it’s fun. And even when it’s not fun, it makes me a better person.
—Things I’ve Learned From Being Open on my poly life
When we understand that we are never static souls, but always in the process of unfolding, our capacity to live passionately intensifies.
—Bell Hooks, ‘How souls unfold: Pain and politics are essential to creativity’
(via Learning Everyday…)
I do believe that books can change lives, and give people this kind of language that they wouldn’t have had otherwise.
—Jacqueline Woodson talks to NPR about her free-verse memoir, Brown Girl Dreaming
(via because i am a woman)