Love Languages Pt. 2

So love language profiles have popped back into popularity on some of the poly blogs I follow. I’ve been aware of and interested by love languages for a long time now, but I realized that the last time I actually took the quiz to make a love language profile, I was single, and the quiz is different if you’re in a relationship, so since today makes 14 wonderful months with [Booskie] and I left his place this morning feeling really happy and secure, I thought I’d retake the quiz and see if/how being in love has changed the ways I communicate and experience love.

It has! Back in 2011 (geez that was a long time ago) when I first found and took the quiz, Physical Touch was clearly my primary love language, and Quality Time was a close second. Now Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are tied for my primary love languages, and Quality Time is still a close third. I’m not surprised by this shift — [Booskie] and I are both people to whom words matter a lot. With him I’ve developed into being this person who writes long letters about my feelings and says I love you spontaneously throughout the day when we spend time together, and he says things to support me and reassure me all the time, even when I haven’t expressly said that I need that.

Since my top 3 were all pretty closely ranked, I’ve provided their descriptions — THEY ARE SO ACCURATELY ME.

If anyone else is interested, you can take the quiz here:

9 Physical Touch
9 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
3 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Words of Affirmation Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Quality Time Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

(emphasis mine)


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

One thought on “Love Languages Pt. 2

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