Day 16: Where You Are #30Layers30Days

What is the best part of being where you are in your life right now, at this very minute?   All worries aside.  What is making you happy? What is going right? What simple things are you grateful for?

Warning: this post is going to be sappy.

Soooo boo and I literally spent a portion of last night snuggled up on his futon talking about how happy we make one another… I think this question answers itself pretty easily.

I am privileged and quite lucky to be able to say that there’s nothing really overwhelmingly negative going on in my life these days, but even taking that into account, our relationship easily takes the prize for being my best thing right now. It pretty much amazes me all the time. I am better for being with him. I grow in me as we grow together. We go on adventures, be they roadtrip adventures or cooking adventures or theoretically someday soon driving adventures. We’ve got each other’s backs. When something shitty is going in on one of our lives, when we’re stressed out or sad about work or family or LIFE, we are there for one another and support one another in a million different little ways, even if it’s just sitting in the awful “I don’t know what to do” space together. We’re a team and we make it work. We balance one another out in a lot of ways, I think. We strive towards new levels of vulnerability and transparency all the time — we are open and honest and serious about heavy subjects as easily as we are silly and goofy and pretending to eat one another’s noses. Sometimes I worry about tiny things, because I am a worrier, and when I build up the courage to ask him, he responds as if they’re no big deal at all, like this week when I finally brought up the subject of my clothes needing two homes. I’ve never said anything to him about myself or my feelings without being met with acceptance and compassion, with the possible exception of when I told him I’m not super into Kanye, haha. When I think about us on a macro level, I feel simultaneously really grounded and really excited — it doesn’t feel weird to prioritize him or us anymore.

And speaking of being grateful/thankful for things, I am writing this post as I bake a test version of a sweet potato cake (recipe here, though I pureed my own sweet potatoes because canned shit? Really? Who does WaPo think I am?) as a contestant in the running for Dessert I Bake to Impress His Family When I Go to His Aunt’s House for Thanksgiving this year. I am nervous but excited to meet the rest of his family. I am so thankful for him and this space we’ve carved out in one another’s lives.

*picks this as an arbitrary place to stop gushing before this turns into an epic saga *


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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