Day 18: Intimidation #30Layers30Days

What kind of people make you feel intimidated, small, inferior?  Why?

People who seem cool. That’s such a difficult word to define. It often revolves around exuding confidence (or at least coming off as though you’re not awkward). Examples include people who are more publicly outspoken about things I’m into than I am, or wear identities we share more boldly than me, or are really into “cool” things like hip-hop or activism or fashion or dance. Bloggers who have real followings. People whose creativity/artistry/talents I admire. I think these things could be broadly summarized as people who have figured out a) what their passions are and b) how to wear them in public.

Also people who are very informed about topics I know little to nothing about, particularly when they’re having conversations about them at dinners or parties I’m attending and I cannot contribute to the conversation at all. This happened to me at a dinner for my roommate’s birthday two weeks ago, with a bunch of her international relations buddies. It was awkward. I was hella quiet.

I always assume that people who I kind of know or who run in the same circles as me and with whom I have never had a legit conversation don’t talk to me because they think I’m uncool or boring or beneath them or whatever. It surprises me how often I learn it’s because they feel awkward too.

Also gay women I find attractive on online dating sites, because babyqueerness.


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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