I really want to practice the art of removing the concept of domination from all my relationships and whoever I end up with romantically. Not living from a place of fear assuaged by the acquisition of power. Its really important for me to say what i am feeling and know that I am wanted/desired so that I dont end up trying to manipulate someone. And as queer femme of color manipulation comes easy to me. Its the only way Ive learned how to survive and make myself heard in many situations. Its been reinforced into many aspects of my identity. Using my voice is so important for me in decolonizing the way that I love.
A lot of people love to quote how relationships are power struggles in which someone is going to have the upper hand. This is not my vision of love, romantic or otherwise. Maybe we need to spent less time trying to quantify and rationalize love and more time making it into what we need from it/need it to be. I dont want to vie for attention or pretend to be disinterested to gauge your feelings and properly negotiate your waning interest or move you into the right position. I will tell you if I have been missing you, or that I want to talk to you. I won’t hide the smile that lights up my face when I see you. Or make it a secret that you have me rolled around your little finger. In a world that can be incredibly cruel and is so often lacking in love I think that we deserve to be honest in that with one another. To shower one another in attention, love, care and to be unashamed that we so openly care for our partners and loved ones.
–Blackfoxx, “Thoughts on Love, Power Struggles, Domination, and Colonized Concepts of Love
(via come correct)
Abso-fucking-lutely all of this.