Day 28: More, More, More #30Layers30Days

Fill in the blanks. 
I need more ______ for my mind.
I crave more ______ for my body.I deserve more ______ for my soul.

I need more peace for my mind. I need to stop tearing myself apart every time I feel like I’ve done (or wanted or been) something wrong. I need more balance for my mind, between fighting the good fight against institutionalized racism and state-sponsored violence and taking time out to care for myself and surround myself with positive things. I need more activities for my mind — this challenge and some recent conversations have made me want to seek out more ways to substantively engage with myself and my creativities.
I have to play with the wording here, but my body craves feeling desired. Feeling wanted physically in concordance with feeling wanted emotionally helps me feel secure. I was also talking to RG about yoga last night, and I’ve been saying I want to get back into that for a while, but haven’t. I even bought a Groupon deal and watched it expire. I wonder if my body craves stretching and movement. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I’ve been wanting things until I have them.
I deserve more patience and compassion for my soul. It is hard sometimes, but I am trying. Like that quote I reblogged the other day, being and doing good isn’t a fixed quality. It’s something you have to work at and actively choose every day, and that’s what I aim to do. I’ve gotten very comfortable recognizing that I can’t force myself to feel and do and be anything; the next step is to not feel guilty or bad about not being able to feel/do/be those things. I am quick to punish myself for actions, emotions, and reactions I find problematic. To quote something special boo shared with me the other day, “I’m still a work in progress.”

About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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