You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself. Think of something that you love to do for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedom and to love.
—Anthony De Mello, The Way to Love
I need to work on this. I really enjoy hosting events, but that can’t really be a regular activity. My birthday party this past weekend was awesome, though. I like baking — that’s something I do for me (though sometimes I do it for other people). Boo and I have been playing a video game recently and I really enjoy it, but I don’t think I’m into it enough that I want to buy a system of some sort and start gaming again myself. I read a lot, but while I definitely enjoy it, sometimes it feels like it’s just a thing I do to pass the time. Internetting is the same way. I want to create more, but most of my writing recently has been personal, directed specifically at people, and I struggle to feel as though that is creative. I haven’t felt much like blogging. I want to spend more time with my friends. I like them. But they also aren’t a hobby.
I need to find something that I truly enjoy doing alone. I hate feeling like I spend my free time waiting to do things with boo or other people.