True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.
I feel like this describes how going to therapy is going to be. I’m…nervous? But also trying not to expect much to happen right away. And also still skeptical. But I want to feel better. I want to feel healthy, like the things, activities, and relationships in my life are healthy for me, including my relationship with myself and the activities I engage with/in alone. Hoping it doesn’t require feeling worse first, but we shall see.