If I am already in a relationship, does my desire for others come from dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship? If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?

This one is easy for me. All of the attempts at having multiple partners I have made since dating JJ came from a place of dissatisfaction or wanting more than was currently available to me in terms of companionship and/or sexual expression. I would not consider having dalliances on the side if I were getting everything I need from our romantic relationship. I wonder if I might still get drunk at a party I’m at without my partner and feel like making out with someone. I wonder even more if, if my partner went to parties with me, would I feel the desire for those activities with someone else — so many times now I go out and come home and want to fuck the shit out of JJ, but he is asleep and I am left frustrated.

However, my desire for friends and the companionship and other intimacy I get from those relationships does not wax or wane with the existence of a romantic partnership in my life; the partnership comes first, though, in most instances. My friendships add incredible value to my life, but my partnership is the relationship around which my life is structured.


About alaiyo0685

I'm a kind of quirky, pretty stubborn, way too opinionated, twenty-something, intellectual, introspective, queer, Black, female, in a polyamorous relationship, and this is where I try to figure out my life.

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