Category Archives: Uncategorized

Most people aren’t really happy but they aren’t unhappy enough to do anything about it. That’s a dangerous place to be.

–Tony Robbins

(via Hey Fran Hey)



Alone time generally feels like some combination of Spongebob staring at the tea in #5 and the guy playing catch with himself in #20. And watching TV together as quality time usually provokes the same reaction from me as it did from Mindy in #21. And I feel like I judge myself along the lines of #25, except that I do literally always have a book on my physical person. Similarly, I don’t think the people in my life think of me as being too needy (#7), but I feel like I’m being super needy all the time and wish I was more self-sufficient. But LOL #8 and #9 are 100% me, which feels like it cancels out any hope of self-sufficiency. Which makes me sad, and then I copy and paste the same things in g-chat to start conversations with like 5 people (#2).

…Buzzfeed gets me. 

I’m usually a pretty logical/practical person, but sometimes a random monthly horoscope is exactly what you need:

Aquarius: There are things that come easy to you, and things that take work, and it can be easy to get them mixed up. It can be easy to get so impatient for your work to pay off all at once, impatient for the future to become clear right away. This month, try not to worry and try not to rush. There is a whole world full of deserts and oceans and life. There is love on all sides of you, strange and warm and bright. Keep your eyes open. Look around. You’re just where you should be.

(via The Toast)

Language, Part I


Social Otherness 101

I asked some people on social media this today:

“What are some words that you wish people–especially white people–understood?”

And woah did I get some amazing responses. You see, I can preach from my desk all day long and you may or may not believe me. But these wonderful people put in words what every other social other continues to scream at society.


“Shut up”

“Don’t touch my hair”




“White fragility”


“That’s not yours. Leave it the f— alone.”

“Do not touch me.”


“Not your token.”

“White supremacy.”


“That is not spicy.”

“Nobody asked you.”


“This is not for you.”

“Shut up and listen.”

“Purple is not a skin color. “


“Institutional. (Racism, misogyny)”


“That Allah does not mean ‘Brown God’. Arab Christians also say Allah.”

“Your flag does not welcome me so why should I welcome it.”

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The Answer Is Never

Yesssss someone else who has literally never ever wanted to have children, explaining things more eloquently (and from a more wizened vantage point) than I am currently capable of. #IdidntlikechildrenwhenIwasachild


Sabine Heinlein | Longreads | April 2015 | 16 minutes (3,886 words)

One time, when I was in my early twenties, I shared a hospital room with a mother of many. I had a skin infection that wouldn’t respond to oral medication, and the 50-something-year-old woman had severe, inexplicable hives. Our main topic of conversation revolved around neither of our ailments. It was about my not wanting to have children. She was insistent, which seemed ironic considering her hives flared up whenever her family visited her on Sundays. I eventually compromised with the woman. Okay, I said, I will put off my decision until I reach my thirties. “You are starry-eyed,” she huffed. “You young women want it all. But you can’t have it all!” Maybe, I thought, some of us don’t want it all.

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“All About Love”

Reblogging this from myself because I just sent some of these quotes to BD for her February Blackfirmations project and I was struck by the degree to which the love ethic hooks describes has shaped my whole relationship with JJ. It’s funny to be I-want-as-much-of-you-in-my-life-as-possible-for-as-long-as-possible me looking at me from the beginning of our relationship (we’d been out I think 4 times at the time of this post) talking about how “love [had] always felt very out of my league.” Love is a life-changing thing.

I'm Such an AFROholic

All About Love: New Visions is a book by bell hooks, and if you are a person who likes to think critically about your relationships, romantic, platonic, or otherwise, you need to read it. Like, now.

I will freely admit that love is a word that thoroughly intimidates me, though at the same time it’s a word some would say I overuse. I would say that it’s a term I understood how to apply to friends, and had always applied liberally to family members, but is not a term (or even a concept) I felt comfortable with when you combined it with romance or sexual affection. In that context, “love” has always felt very out of my league. This has caused problems in the past.

I know what it feels like to like someone. To be infatuated. To feel an instant sort of “click” or connection–some might call it a…

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Not Everything Needs A Silver Lining

Thought Catalog from 2 weeks ago is just full of things I need to hear.

Thought Catalog


It’s okay to tell your truth even if your truth is messy and bitter and frustrated and angry and mean and petty and negative. The truth is not always tied up neatly with a bow. There’s not always a silver lining. There’s not always some lesson learned to your pain. Sometimes things are just not okay for no reason. Sometimes it feels senseless and unfair and uncharacteristically chaotic. Sometimes there is no gratitude, no five-point list of what you’re thankful for, because sometimes life sweeps in like a wildfire and starts burning down what you’ve built.

It’s okay if you need to state the messiest of your truth and stand right in the muck of it. It’s okay if you let your nasty truth hang in the air without an apology, without a condition, without searching for a reason or a lesson or a way out of the nasty…

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