Tag Archives: happiness

Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you’re friends is easy. Being friends is not.

–David Levithan

(via Things I’ve Learned from Being Open)

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Learn to sit with uncomfortable, complex, paradoxes. Learn how to not immediately try to make it better. Learn how to let others have their own reactions and responses. That is what being in a relationship is all about anyways: seeing another’s struggle and valuing their journey enough to let them have it; believing in their ability to find their way; being a support without trying to be their source of happiness.

–Chani Nicholas

(via come correct)

I’m deeply convinced that if we lived in a world where people had much greater freedom to share physical affection and intimacy in nonsexual and nonromantic contexts, with friends and family members, there would be a dramatically higher rate of overall happiness, sense of security, emotional well-being, etc. I believe that it would create more meaningful, more emotional, and more loving friendships and family relationships. I believe it would bond people more closely and intensely. I believe that it would take a lot of the desperation for sex and romance away from romantic/sexual people who are single. If we, as a society, saw touch as caring, loving, and nurturing–not sexual or romantic–we would be free to experience it a lot more often, with a wider variety of people, regardless of sexual orientation or romantic status or whether we were monogamous vs. polyamorous. The benefits would be amazing, and I frankly can’t see any downsides.

The Thinking Asexual | “The Shifting Meanings of Physical Intimacy and Touch

So much to learn in the rejection. The first thing is to remember rejection is not always a sign that you are a failure or have failed. Rejection is about coming closer to what you need to build and create for yourself. To come closer to your life’s purpose. To that happiness you seek and want to bask in for the rest of this life. The rejection is moving you in a different direction.

The idea of “dodging a bullet” when it comes to rejection is very real for you sometimes. You can see how things evolve months or years later in a way that does not stunt your growth and transformation. That’s the relief that comes with this realization. Sure it’s painful at times, you feel the loss, the vacancy, the loneliness. And with time you will realize the loss is making room for more amazing goodness, that had you held onto that loss you would not have the space for all the goodness. The vacancy that reminds you there is something missing, that you are without, but really that’s often a feeling of needing to come inward, to look deep inside as to what is missing. Oftentimes your daily needs are met. It’s something else that is not filling you and you know what it may be when you look. That loneliness is not unique to you either. It may feel so, but you are not the first, nor the last, to feel lonely. Plus, folks love you and would happily spend time with you!

LatiNegra Sexologist | Lesson 29

We deserve to have an outlet and experience that affirms we experience pleasure. Each of us, no matter what our bodies look like, the color of our skin, how our genitals look, we are all capable of pleasure, and many times it’s not even something our genitals need to be a part of!

You’ll find a space, a much needed space, to fill when you focus on the pleasure of POC. We are already coping with our own healing and safety topics. Some of us choose to do that healing and coping by focusing on pleasure and happiness. This is amazing and we each deserve to have that decision honored and treated with respect and integrity.

LatiNegra Sexologist | Lesson 22

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

–Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

(via She Who Shall Not be Linked to)

In this cult of female martyrdom, where caring for our own well being is always last on our to-do list, it is easy to feel selfish when we do care for ourselves. But being kind to yourself, banishing negative body-talk, taking necessary time away from work, feeding your body with food that makes it happy, taking a morning for spiritual growth, doing one activity you enjoy just because you enjoy it—these things are not selfish! For so long, women have been socialized around the idea of “guilty pleasures”. Female pleasure–whether it is related to sex, food, or even an activity–must be categorized into “good” and “bad” categories. We are taught to feel “guilty” for “indulging,” but often these indulgences are normal, healthy expressions of desire. Common guilty pleasures include: food seen as “bad,” like cake, French fries, or chocolate; reading an erotic romance novel; skipping the gym to watch Netflix in bed; taking a bubble bath to decompress rather than tackling your mountain of homework. These guilty pleasures are fairly normal activities. For women, things that we enjoy doing are labeled “indulgence,” and we chastise ourselves for being “bad” if we do them. Indulgence sounds dirty, but most of our “guilty pleasure indulgences” are simply acts self-care. Self-care is not bad. Self-care is not selfish. Our lives do not have to follow the script of obedience.

Brenna McCaffrey, On The Radical Act Of Self-Care, Feminspire.com

(via because i am a woman)