True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.
—Archbishop Desmond Tutu
I feel like this describes how going to therapy is going to be. I’m…nervous? But also trying not to expect much to happen right away. And also still skeptical. But I want to feel better. I want to feel healthy, like the things, activities, and relationships in my life are healthy for me, including my relationship with myself and the activities I engage with/in alone. Hoping it doesn’t require feeling worse first, but we shall see.
We writers – and especially writers for children, but all writers – have an obligation to our readers: it’s the obligation to write true things, especially important when we are creating tales of people who do not exist in places that never were – to understand that truth is not in what happens but what it tells us about who we are. Fiction is the lie that tells the truth, after all. We have an obligation not to bore our readers, but to make them need to turn the pages. One of the best cures for a reluctant reader, after all, is a tale they cannot stop themselves from reading. And while we must tell our readers true things and give them weapons and give them armour and pass on whatever wisdom we have gleaned from our short stay on this green world, we have an obligation not to preach, not to lecture, not to force predigested morals and messages down our readers’ throats like adult birds feeding their babies pre-masticated maggots; and we have an obligation never, ever, under any circumstances, to write anything for children that we would not want to read ourselves.
We have an obligation to understand and to acknowledge that as writers for children we are doing important work, because if we mess it up and write dull books that turn children away from reading and from books, we ‘ve lessened our own future and diminished theirs.
We all – adults and children, writers and readers – have an obligation to daydream. We have an obligation to imagine. It is easy to pretend that nobody can change anything, that we are in a world in which society is huge and the individual is less than nothing: an atom in a wall, a grain of rice in a rice field. But the truth is, individuals change their world over and over, individuals make the future, and they do it by imagining that things can be different.
—Neil Gaiman, Why our future depends on libraries, reading, and daydreaming
(via the dopest ethiopienne)
When we tell the truth about who we are, what we need and want, and how we feel, it helps us feel connected to people and form deep bonds with them. Telling the truth is not always easy, especially when you feel that the disclosure will hurt someone you love. But withholding information to protect someone you love is not only unfair to them, it is counterproductive to the relationship.
Many of the people I spoke to said that when their partners share information with them, they feel informed and in the loop. Knowing what’s going on makes them feel more secure about their relationship and more connected to their partner. Many say that they feel the most insecure, jealous, and anxious when they don’t know what is up. What often happens is that they use their imagination to fill in the blanks, fear and irrationality come into play, and they make something into what it is not or imagine the worst-case scenario.
—Tristan Taormino, Opening Up
I just let my friend LS borrow this book. I hope it helps.
I think honesty is the deepest level of intimacy. It’s not so hard to share your body but sharing your soul and your private thoughts with someone else makes you about as vulnerable as you can really be. I don’t want to be lied to about things I should know. I don’t want half truths or hidden truths by omission. I truly want to know my partner’s thoughts, feelings, and desires. If a partner were to keep that from me I would feel disconnected and untrusted.
— “Honesty” | PolyamorousLife
When we give freely, we feel full and complete; when we withhold, we feel small, petty, impotent, and lacking. We are meant to learn this great truth, that giving fulfills us, while withholding and trying to get causes us to feel empty and even more needy. This truth runs counter to our programming, which drives us to try to get something from others to fulfill our neediness, only to end up even more needy, grasping, lacking, and unfulfilled.
—Gina Lake, What about Now?: Reminders for Being in the Moment
We are blues people. The blues aren’t pessimistic. We’re prisoners of hope but we tell the truth and the truth is dark. That’s different.
–Dr. Cornel West
(via knowledge equals black power)
This quote takes me back to my freshman fall when this man changed my life. I don’t always agree with his politics, but I owe my consciousness to Brother West.